That's what I tell you, and you, and you, and you.

And then and there I broke into a million pieces. Maybe one day I will put them back together. But now all I can do is to stare at the broken pieces,the hundreds of shiny splinters of me, as they looked up at me mockingly, mocking me of what I used to be, and what I never will be.

**********************************************

I am okay. Aren't I?

I don’t need you to laugh at this.

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night ’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

What?

You're a redneck, heartbreak

Who's really bad at lying

So watch me strike a match

On all my wasted time

As far as im concerned

You're just another picture to burn

feels bitter.

i tried so hard, but it still goes on.
I'm half the person i used to be anymore.

ITS FUCKING ABOUT YOU INNIT?

how clever you always twist things round in circles and make nothing your mistakes and everything mine

I dont want a conversation.

Dear Mr X,

I don't really know why you still come around to me and act as if i'm suppose to be your best fren again. I dont get it. I really dont. How do u expect me to be like normal? I dont want to. I'm sorry. You gave me enough heartbreaks to last me a lifetime. Please leave me alone. I dont want to know about your life, or anything to do with you.
JUST.FUCKING.LEAVE.ME.ALONE

i guess i am not satisfied with our conversation because i felt like we went in circles and i forgot some of the things i wanted to say along the way.

you know, i broke a lot of rules for you. i put aside my ego. i initiated. i called you first and let you see how im bothered. you dont even realize how much you affect me, i cant even fucking sleep because of you. last night i slept at 7am. what the fuck. and you dont even care. your parting words with me are i dont have anything to say to you?

you admit that you could sense something was up and you still didnt bother to ask me about it right? you drop the obligatory hi text and fine duty done. didnt you learn from before you went to ** that the problem was you didnt ask me. and still you didnt ask and nevermind because i called you first right. i am so insignificant to you, that you cant put aside your ego and just ask? maybe i have my reasons for not replying you normally.

perhaps its not my place to tell you or care who and how much you talk to someone. but even after i told you how i felt and we made up, you do it still. not change a thing and have the cheek to tell me that youve already texted me so i cant get mad? then now, you say i took it wrong and its not obligatory. of course i am not going to ask you to tone down your frequency with her. its not my place and i sure as hell dont want to make you obligated to do that as well. you fucking have enough obligations with me right?

well fine. if my issues mean squat to you and you feel you havent wronged me in any way. what about your darling girlfriend? have you ever considered her feelings? i know i would not like my boyfriend communicating with some other girl so much and then not even tell me about it. if it was so innocent then why didnt you just tell her? it is definitely not a nice feeling to find out from your best friend when it popped up in conversation. dont deny it because i know how much you contact her, im there.

my thoughts are all over the place with you. one moment i trust you with the world and the next i categorize you with all my disappointments. just know that ive never tried so hard nor did i ever shed a tear or lose sleep from my other disappointments. please dont feed me bullshit anymore.